A reader/friend emailed me the other day to check to make sure I hadn't fallen off the face of the earth, or stopped blogged, either one being awful, I suppose. Granted, I've fallen behind in my blogging, but I think I'm hopefully in the upswing, and back to it. I'll be honest, I thought about just shutting things down all together, calling it quits, more than once in the past month. You've heard all the usually reasons from other bloggers who have fallen by the wayside--- takes too much time, feel like a sell-out, don't feel inspired,etc.,etc. And in the past three years, I've seen a lot of bloggers bow out, but not for the reason I'm about to give.
I'm too famous. Or maybe the problem is I'm not famous enough. Now before you just cuss me and close out of this screen, thinking to yourself, "Katie, has done lost her fool mind for real this time!", hear me out. Read me out, whatever, you know what I mean.
I'm clearly not famous. I make just enough money from blogging that I can occasionally buy myself some new clothes from Old Navy (hence the Old Navy-heavy #OOTD in this post). But I'm not famous enough that Old Navy wants to work with me, even though I do ACTUALLY WEAR their brand, unlike most of the bloggers currently shilling for them. Alas that's a rant for another day, so back to my original point.
I've never been stopped on the streets by a "fan", but apparently I'm all over Pinterest to the point that my students want to mention it during class, while I'm teaching, on a daily basis. This is not something I expected from blogging---this intermixing between my regular day-to-day life and my blogging life, and it is not something I enjoy. Why are my students so obsessed with the fact that I actually do something in my spare time? Again, another day...
I'm not going to be able to quit my day job and blog full-time ever. But it has recently come to my attention that someone is using my blog photos to catfish people on OKCupid. Until two weeks ago, I really had no idea what OKC was, other than another dating site like Match or Christian Mingle or J-Date or whatever that Wanna Date a Cowboy dating site is. I think it's a step up from that hook up app, Tinder (which I literally had to Google the name of, that's how out of the loop I am), but since I have been married for over ten years and don't use dating sites, I'm not entirely sure. Oh, I'm so simple and naive.
Let me start at the beginning. I wake up one Monday morning, and since I am dreading getting out of bed and actually starting my workweek, I am wasting time on my phone. I see that my blog's Facebook page has a new message, so I click over to check it out. Expecting one of my usual FB messages about where to buy cardigans (I know, I own a bunch) or just a general "Hello, I like your blog" (which I love to receive), I'm reading still half-asleep with one eye open and picking crusty eye boogers out of the other one---glamorous I know! Well, here's the message:
Ummm, awkward?! Feeling pretty wide awake by this point, I debated what to do. Originally, I wasn't going to respond to the message at all. Curtis thought the whole thing was hilarious, but I was (and still am) seething over the fact that someone is using me to try and hook up with other people. And clearly, the whole thing was a ruse because they would never be able to meet face-to-face because they aren't me!
Truthfully, as much as I was creeped out by the whole thing, I felt kinda bad for dudeman. I mean he went through all the trouble to reverse image search my photo and track down my blog and then my Facebook page and then message me. And it was all for naught. After explaining that I do not have (and never will have) an OKCupid account, I asked the guy to give me the profile link, so I could check things out for myself. Sure enough, a photo of me, with a promise of more photos if I "click" with the suitor.
Now there are people who will say that when you put your life and photos on the internet, then you are fair game to whatever happens with them. I have seen photos of myself on Pinterest with horribly degrading comments. I have dealt with plus size women criticizing my photo's on a plus-size retailer's Facebook page- oh, the irony. I have seen my photos on Tumblers dedicated to the fetishism of plus-sized women. All this abuse and degradation for a couple of new fall items at Old Navy? Hardly seems worth it sometimes.
I started my blog as a way to feel better about myself and encourage other women to get out of fashion slumps and dress for the bodies they have. I know first-hand that self-esteem and confidence are slippery slopes and that sometimes something as a simple as a new dress can make a huge difference. That is still the main reason I blog, but it gets harder and harder to justify it with this kind of insidious invasion. It gets harder to enjoy blogging and sharing photos when I worry about where they may end up, you know?
I've contacted OKCupid three times asking for something to be done about the profile, but I've yet to receive a response from them. Not that I'm surprised really, but it's frustrating nonetheless. But the fear is, what if this is just the tip of the iceberg? What else is out there that hasn't surfaced yet?
|Cardigan: Old Navy (Buy Here)|
Camisole: Old Navy (Buy Here)
Skirt:Old Navy (Buy Here)
Shoes: Kohl's (Super old, but Similar Here)