Monday, December 12, 2011

Do You Kiss Your Mother with that Mouth? Self-Hate and The Problem with Pinterest


"If you talked to your friends the way you talk to your body, you'd have no friends left"- Martha Hutchinson


I love Pinterest. I mean who doesn't? Pinterest is filled with amazing recipes (some of which I've tried, many of which I want someone else to make for me), cool crafts (some of which I've tried, many of which I want someone else to make for me), and amazing styles (Pinterest is one of the main reasons I decided to create a daily blog). But Pinterest is also filled with something much more sinister. Something that gets pinned more than recipes, crafts, and styles. Some people think it's innocuous. Some think it's inspirational. A very small section think it's disturbing and dangerous.


Thinspo. You've seen it. Even if you didn't realize what is was called. Images of skinny girls and "inspirational" sayings like, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." That's thinspo. And while you may find it inspirational, like a modern version of taping a swimsuit picture to your refrigerator, often times these photos link back to pro-anorexia websites. I'm not knocking skinny people- I used to be one. In fact, if I could just get my motivation back in the right place, I could probably be that way again. But I'm also not going to hate my body or myself for being what it is.



See that quote at the beginning of the blog? Think about it. Read it again. Replace the word "friends" with the word "mother."


"If you talked to your mother the way you talk to your body, you'd have no mother left."
 Replace "mother" with "daughter."



"If you talked to your daughter the way you talk to your body, you'd have no daughter left." 


We would NEVER allow someone to verbally abuse us the way we abuse ourselves every time we eat too much or step on the scale or button a pair of pants. We would never judge our daughters based on what size dress they wear or their BMI. We would never call her fat or disgusting. We would never starve her. We would never hate her.



 So do me a favor. Stop pinning self-hate and calling it inspiration. And love yourself. All of yourself.

34 comments:

Robin said...

I love you, Katie :)

Rachel said...

couldnt agree with you more, as a former skinny(er) person i feel like theres a lot of pressure on women these day. But me, i like food way to much to give it up! be true to yourself i say!

Rachel W. said...

THANK YOU for calling out at that pro-ana/thinspo junk on Pinterest! It's so horrible and sad and bad for women. I felt like I was the only one who noticed it. It's one thing to get motivated to be healthy, it's quite another to repin something that literally teaches girls how to hide their anorexia from their parents. :(

Rachel W. said...

Also - love the floral blouse! Where's it from?

Mary said...

I mostly agree with you on this. However, I have a board for weight loss inspiration for myself. I don't have the things like "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" or obvious things like that. I also don't necessarily use pins to link to a site. Sometimes I just have pins to use as a reminder, if I need a motivational boost. I'm from an Italian family and married into an Italian family. I will never be anorexic b/c I love food and carbs too much. Although, where I do agree with you, is that we should never talk self-hatred to ourselves and should embrace who we are :) And your quote is very true! I would never judge my daughter based on her size - unless it came down to a health problem, but that would be intervening, not judging :)

Samantha Cernock said...

Well spoken!!

Alanna said...

Wow,this really hit home (like, I'm crying right now).
Thanks :)

Alanna said...

PS - love the outfit!

Michele said...

This is such a good message for our daughters. I work very hard to let my daughter know that she's perfect to me-just the way she is!

KatieFrost said...

I love you too!

KatieFrost said...

I know exactly what you mean! I love food and I loathe exercise. It's just a shame so many girls and women feel bad about themselves because of pictures and supermodels and such (most of which is insanely Photoshopped!)

KatieFrost said...

Thank you Rachel and you should follow Katesome on pinterest. Her blog is katesome.com and she has a great anti-thinspo pinterest board.

KatieFrost said...

I got it at Kohl's last spring. Love me some Kohl's!

KatieFrost said...

I agree 100% with you. And I think most women can absolutely look at a picture of a size two and be motivated to eat healthy and work out. I just fear the people who end up hating or starving themselves because of a mostly unattainable idea of what beauty is! I'm always sad when I see my slender, 17 year-old cousin post images like that. That just isn't healthy for a young girl's self-esteem and self worth!

KatieFrost said...

Thank you!

Tameka Stephens said...

Wow...thanks for sharing this. There is so much pressure to be super thin and be this way and that way. So many women fall victim to this pressure and end up with eating disorders. Thanks again for posting this!

KatieFrost said...

Well, thank you all for reading it, and you are right, working with teens makes you realize how susceptible they are.

KatieFrost said...

I don't have a daughter, but I am a high school teacher so I feel like I have 100s of daughters some days! And you are right, they need to know that nothing's wrong with them!

KatieFrost said...

I feel so humbled right now. Thank you so much Alanna. That comment means so much to me :)

First said...

I know what you mean about pinterest. I hate seeing though skinny girls with their hip bones sticking out with "inspirational/ motivational" saying so sad:( What's even more sad is young girls growing up seeing advertisements like this... mmmmm could this tie into teen suicides? What happened to loving your body the way that it is? Thanks for this post :)

mamafrost76 said...

You are beautiful Katie...inside and out! I am blessed!

mamafrost76 said...

Even your/our sons need to be allowed to feel good about who they are. Love and respect go a long way in making solid, strong adults.
Bless all of you teachers...you are mom/dad to so many young people who may not get respect and acceptance at home.

Kara Hale said...

You are so right! I stopped "following" a friend because I started to feel bad about myself with all her "inspirational" pins.

Jenny Kozar said...

WOW!!! So true -- thank you for bringing the words to it and making me think.

janet murphy said...

I agree wholeheartedly. I have decided recently to put away the self hate, the obsession with what I eat and just be me. For my children's sakes, I want my self worth to be from the inside. I have stopped reading magazines because every cover states how I can be better, look better and feel better all with my weight. I especially laugh at magazines that declare the perfect diet right next to the perfect chocolate cake! Hilarious. Are we this stupid as a society? I only look at pinterest through those I follow, and only follow their boards that interest me (hence, I don't have any real thinspo come through my feeds). Once something I see creates that dialogue in my head, I blame WHAT I see as being warped and distorted, NOT me. NOT us. We are perfect in our imperfections.

Ariana said...

Well said Katie!!

Mary said...

You are right about that! My 20 year old sister-in-law is a size 4, and is so fit and toned! She plays on the women's soccer team at her school. And then she complains that she is so fat! I tell her that I could only die to be "fat" like her. There is too much pressure to be even skinnier than what you are already are, even if you are a size 2 or 4. That, indeed, is a shame!

Terri said...

You hit it on the nose! I was so Happy when I found your blog. I love your fashion sense and your wisdom :-)
Have a wonderful day!

KatieFrost said...

Beautifully written, Janet. I agree that it is totally ridiculous the way some women's lifestyle magazines present themselves to us. And you are right. We are perfect in our imperfections. I wish more people would realize this.

KatieFrost said...

Thanks Jenny!

KatieFrost said...

Thank you so much! You are so supportive! I love you!

Misty Tumlin Kerns said...

I know I am a little behind on reading your blog (gotta love the holidays!!), but this one really got to me. You are absolutely right! I have a real problem with self hate. I criticize my body all the time. As I sit here with my precious Squishy on my lap, I wonder how I would feel if she were to start self hating herself. I can't stand to even think of the day that she starts to feel she is not good enough because she is not a size 2. I don't ever want her to feel inferior! My baby is perfect! Every part of her is perfect, down to her overbite and her chipped front tooth (bad fall a few months ago). It would hurt me so for her to think that she is anything but perfect. And I wonder, how does my mother feel when I start talking about my “fat” body? Does it hurt her as much as I think it would hurt me? I have never thought about how many people are affected when I start to share my self hate. Wow…just wow.

Sammie said...

I love discovering new blogs! Love your style and this outfit is one that I'd love to wear! Even more inspiring is the message in your post. Keep it up!

http://sincerelysammie.com/

Katie Frost said...

This is Gold, Katie. Love it. I totally agree.

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