Friday, November 23, 2012

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

* Look, I know we all like to look at pretty pictures, but I would be oh so grateful if you'd take some time and read this post today. I'd love to hear your feedback and opinions.*

“Hair brings one’s self-image into focus; it is vanity’s proving ground. Hair is terribly personal, a tangle of mysterious prejudices”- Shana Alexander

Nothing is more polarizing than hair for a woman. It is a lifelong battle between the mirror, the hair dryer, the straightener (or curling iron) and the hair.
As little girls we are conditioned to believe that long hair is the beauty ideal. Our first “role models”, Barbie and Disney princesses, wear their cascading hair as badges of female sexuality and beauty.  On the playground, androgynous hair styles, boys with long hair or girls with short hair, are met with confused stares, or from the braver children, questions like, “Are you a boy or a girl?”

As we age, the issues with our hair increase. Girls with curly hair iron their tresses into fried submission. Girls with straight hair will undergo stinky, burning perms to encourage their stick-straight locks to curl. The grass is always greener on the other side of the hairbrush it seems. And still the beauty standards remain the same. Long hair is desirable- indicative of its owner’s femininity and fertility. Step into a high school classroom or walk down a crowded hall- the overwhelming majority of girls have adopted the same hair style, long and straight. Twitter is inundated with #LongHairProbz and #LongHairDon’tCare hash tags.

Conformity is key. Don’t rock the boat. Boys will only like you if you have long hair, but girls feel the most pressure from other girls. While individuality is supposed to be ideal, in front of the mirror, sameness rules supreme. Don’t stand out. Remember when teen queen Miley Cyrus cut her hair? When she started twitting pictures of the hair she said made her feel “more me” than anything else in her young life, the public opinion was widely negative and insanely hateful- no man would ever find her attractive again, no woman would ever envy her hair. You would have thought the girl started World War III with this haircut or something.

Dare to break societal conventions and prepare for the backlash. When lovely Emma Watson chopped off her hair after completing filming of the Harry Potter movies she said journalists constantly asked if she was coming out of the closet- so short hair clearly equals lesbian, and the shorter the cut the more “butch” you are- it’s a proven fact, you guys! Anne Hathaway, lost like 15 pounds for her role in the upcoming Les Miserables, but what was worse than losing her feminine curves? Cutting her hair, of course! In an interview she stated that after cutting her hair, she was, “ a mental patient level of crying... inconsolable."

But don’t worry your husband and friends wouldn’t lie to you, right? Wrong. Some crazy, bullshit propaganda website (I refuse to link because I seriously think the guy is legit crazy, but if you really want to know you can email me) teaches women what men “really want” from their marriage. This includes long hair apparently, and he’s pretty passionate about it:

“Long hair is a marker for physical good health, is a feminine appearance marker and the overwhelming majority of men are attracted to long hair. Most husbands react to their wives lopping all their hair into some sort of short pixie cut quite badly. Kinda the same way you would react if he suddenly announced he’d shortened his cock to two inches long. You’re not going to really say anything, just make that strangling sound in your throat and hope that it can eventually grow back.”

Oh, you need to hear more of his marriage advice? OK, that’s cool. Talking about his wife, who had super damaged, bleached blonde hair when they met, he says, “In the middle of last year she actually reverted back to her natural hair color by dying it back that way. She liked it, all her friends and coworkers just loved it, loved it, loved it. Me… “meh whatever”.  Jennifer with blonde hair is a solid 9 to me. Jennifer with whatever that crap her natural hair color was is a 7 or maybe 8 to me. I can’t help myself feeling that change in emotion. I’m not going to divorce her for being brunette, I’m just going to be less into her.”

What the actual hell? Is he for real?! He also claims that women encourage other women to cut their hair as a form of sabotage: “Of course all her friends and coworkers just love her new hair style! Of course they would, she just botched her appearance and if she falls off the top of the sexy ladder, everyone else gets to move up a place.”

Other people believe that cutting your hair short is the worldwide indicator that you are no longer interested in sex, and I guess it doesn’t matter if you are or not because no man will ever find you attractive again with your ugly butch haircut anyway:

  •  Edgy isn't sexy. It's attitudinal and combative, not features I want in a wife.
  • Ugh, short lesbotron hairstyles. The horror.
  •  Men who like that are probably on the gay side of the sexual affinity pendulum.

I’ve never even considered myself a radical feminist, but this crap is enough to make me want to shave my head. In an Elle magazine article, a man interviewed admitted he found woman with short hair less attractive because it showed that they don’t feel like they have to do whatever everyone else is doing. Since when is thinking for yourself a bad thing? While I constantly encourage women to be confident, it doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle or have my own hang-ups. I’m no stranger to short hair. I mean I am the girl whose fifth grade boyfriend dumped her because she got HIS haircut at the salon. In college I rocked super short locks. Before Sean was born, I chopped my hair off. I love short hair.

But am I brave enough to have short hair? Every time I start to seriously consider it, fear gets in my way. I always blame Curtis, claiming that he hates short hair, but in all honesty, he doesn’t . The reason I am afraid to chop it all off is rooted in vanity and all of the ridiculous things I have shared above. I am afraid people –men and women- won’t find me attractive. I am afraid my students will be horrified and consider me uncool and matronly. I’m afraid that I will lose the one thing that makes me pretty despite my bad skin, despite my double chin and muffin top. Like Samson, I will lose my power.

I’ve seen enough makeover episodes of America’s Next Top Model to know that many women have an unnatural attachment to their hair. Hair has become the most important physical feature a woman has. Long hair shows that a woman is feminine and sexy. Short hair? Not so much. Tyra starts demanding short cuts, and the tears flow like rivers. Girls have quit over haircuts. I used to laugh at them and call them dumb, but now I fear I am turning into one of them. Am I defined by my hair? Does a shorter haircut really change who I am?

Guess I will find out----



More photos on Monday! Have a great weekend!


100 comments:

jess said...

First off...you look amazing! Just as well you put the picture at the bottom as otherwise I would have missed the post ohhing & ahhing over your hair, which would have been a total shame. My hair issues started when I was 8. I had super long hair and I had been sick for weeks and my hair was all matted. After mum spent hours brushing it out I was informed not to mess up my hair. My brother thought it would be fun to mess it up and tell my dad I did it. He promptly threw me over his shoulder and took me kicking and screaming to the hairdressers...five hairdressers later (they had all refused to cut my hair when I was hysterical) it was chopped off to about 2in all over. Sure enough I spent hours trying to talk my daughters out of cutting their hair. Going so far as to ban my very independent individual daughter from chopping her hair above shoulder length. Eventually I realised I was being stupid and I let her cut it as short as she wanted (just like yours) and I have never seen her so happy. But sure enough the hair dresser tried to talk her out of it as she wouldn't look like a girl (because girls apparently can only look like girls with long hair). Not long after she got the chop her younger twin sisters who idolise her followed suit. They all look crazy adorable with their pixie cuts and so do you.

Kim Roche Simpson said...

Love, love, LOVE!!! I have had hair of all different lengths, from a super short pixie to below my shoulders where it now is, and everything in between. Your hair looks amazing!!! I totally agree that lots of self image is in our hair and how others perceive that. You look fabulous, and I hope you feel that way too!!

Savannah said...

So cute! I can’t wait to see more pictures! I hate that there is some kind of taboo for women to have short hair. I have said a few times that I would love to shave my head bald because I get
fed up taking care of my hair. I get so tired of using the hairdryer. My hair
is thick and takes forever to dry on its own. I had a problem in kindergarten
and first grade. I chewed on my hair so my mom cut it short enough so I couldn’t
chew on it. Some of the other kids at recess would ask me if I was a boy or
girl. I made a really good friend that way. Now I am too afraid to have it that
short again. The shortest I will go is a little bit longer that chin length.

Kathy Haynes said...

I love your haircut! I've always kept my hair cut fairly short because my hair is thick and wavy. You have a beautiful face and a strong confidence. You believe in yourself. I don' t think your haircut will change the way people view you. Katie is still beautiful! Shine on girl!

Kristian Satterlee said...

I love all the ladies you mentioned in this, but I REALLY, REALLY like your new haircut. Your long hair was pretty too but this short look exudes personality.


www.withoutastyle.com

Virginia said...

The obvious question that remains is, how do *you* feel about it now that you've done it?


I feel the opposite pressure. I'm over 40 now, and suddenly I'm feeling the pressure to cut off my hair. At some point we get "too old to have long hair." But I love my hair. I have great hair. I've always felt it was my best feature.

Anna Sauber-Buchholz said...

I like it, and I'm not just saying that to "move up a place on the sexy ladder" (WTF???) After years of short haircuts, I've been growing my hair out for the last year...because I can. I sort of feel like I'm 're-booting' my hair, just growing it all out and starting from scratch. My husband says he loves it, but he also loved my short hair, pink hair, whatever hair, because he loves ME.

Tara said...

Oh, my, I love it! I think it is so brave to have hair that short, I would love to do it, but I always fear that my face is too chubby. I'm excited to see more pictures! I will admit that I am always a bit jealous of girls with long hair - I just can't stand it when my hair gets longer than about shoulder length. Funny thing about that 'grass is always greener', only now as I'm nearing 30 have I figured out how to truly appreciate my hair for what it is. I'm trying not to give my curly-headed daughter the same hair issues I had growing up! And that guy is just crazy. His poor wife.

Brynn said...

Katie, I LOVE LOVE LOVE your hair. You are so confident and beautiful, and you rock that sassy hair! What do YOU think of it?

It bothers me SO MUCH when people comment on women having short hair. People are so afraid of women (and men) stepping outside the stereotypical gender norms, and it makes me sick. I personally believe that most people look better with shorter hair, because you get to see their true beauty (they're not hiding behind their locks). A cute style and cut do wonderful things for a person. The comments that man makes about his wife's hair frankly piss me off. I HATE that women are expected to look a certain way for a man. If he truly loves you and cares about you, he'll support you and find you beautiful however you choose to style or color your hair!!

I have had shorter hair for most of my life (it was in the middle of my back in Kindergarten, but was shoulder-chin length until I went to college). I grew my hair out super long during college, just to try it out, and looking back at pictures, I looked like I was about 15 years old. When I cut my hair short, I looked much more mature, sophisticated, and you could see my true beauty so much more. I'm currently braving my way to a pixie cut. I think they are gorgeous and spunky, but I wanted to take baby steps to get there. Right now, my hair is the shortest it's been in years, and I have never had so many compliments about how beautiful and fun I look. What a confidence booster! I'm also a bigger girl (size 14 - I rock my curves!), and was nervous about how the short hair would look on me, but honestly, it frames my face perfectly.

Amy said...

I recently cut my hair shorter than I've ever had it, my usual length was chin length, and I call shenanigans on the male who thinks long hair is the only way to go. My evidence? The first person to approach me specifically to say they liked my new look was the male principal of the school I work at. He was just the first of many men to offer positive reactions. Now, society tells me that they are probably 'just saying that' so they can 'seem nice', but I don't buy that. I did what I liked, what I wanted, and what made me feel good about myself. The positive feedback is just icing on the cake. I'm thinking I want to go even shorter the next time I'm in for a trim!

Kelly Snedden Halford said...

Love it!

ChiShyLib said...

Gorgeous. It's been my experience that the shorter the hair, the sassier the attitude. Great post.

Catie said...

First, your hair looks soo cute! Second, wow are you going to get A LOT of comments on this issue! For me it all depends on the woman. Some look good with short hair and some don't. Just like some look good with blond hair and some don't. It all has to do with facial features. And you my friend have all the right features for short hair. =) I'm really looking forward to seeing more pics! I could go on, but I'll keep this short since you'll be reading comments all weekend. ; ) Have a great one!!

Courtney_L said...

Wow! That haircut is absolutely adorable on you! Love, love, love it!!!

ashleigh said...

This is incredibly moving. My husband actually likes my hair short, like a longer pixie-to chin length. I've been wearing it long for two years and he just isn't into it. He finds the long (damaged blond) threads through out the house and gets disgusted. I am keeping it long for me, because when I had both of my children it was short for the ease of it. I did not feel pretty. In hindsight I realized that was an issue with my changing body. Now that I am comfortable in my skin, I am also the biggest I've ever been. I wonder if I'd have the courage to go short and I know the answer is no. Because I am bigger, but my hair is the longest and blondest it's ever been, I feel pretty. If it my hair wasn't like this and I were the size I am now I think I'd be severely depressed.
I salute your courage and envy you the beautiful, short crop that you are clearly rocking. You are beautiful, with short or long hair, but more importantly, inside and out.
-Ash
www.stylizedwannabe.blogspot.com

Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen said...

SUCH a good post. I do love your hair short and can't wait to see more. But I also love this topic. When I was slimmer I cut my hair all off three different times. It made me feel the way Miley did - more myself, freer. However as I have gotten larger, I feel more "me" with more hair, I feel it balances me out a bit (bigger head for a bigger body?). I don't know if it's an attempt to look more conventionally pretty since I have an unconventional shaped body, or if I just think it fits my personal style better. Seeing your hair short is so inspiring and really makes me think about WHY I choose to wear my hair. Brilliant post!

Shurree said...

Your post is beautiful, and I promise I read it thoroughly before scrolling down. You are constantly inspiring me. I have considered starting my own blog like yours because I want to help other curvy girls have some self-confidence and remember that they are beautiful. That we don't have to wear all black and hide in over-sized clothes. I haven't taken that step yet, but I'm thinking about it seriously.



I love your hair. Since I follow you on Pinterest, I had an idea it was coming, and I knew it would be really cute on you. I'm excited to see more pictures and to hear more of what you have to say. Not to be a weirdo, but I feel like we could be friends in real life.

Barbara Thomas de Vries said...

CUTE!!! I love the hair!!!!! I can't wait to see more!! Have a good weekend!

Beth D said...

You look amazing Katie!

I always wanted to have long hair growing
up, but my mother didn't encourage it and it never really grew long.
Finally at the age of 30 the water in my house must have been the golden
elixir because it finally grew long and strong. Of course also around
that time, my grays began to emerge-boo. As soon as my mother saw my
few silvery gray strands at a holiday gathering she declared I should
cut my hair and look more age appropriate. *shutter* I kept my hair
long, which I feel is most flattering for me and strangely, only when
it's very long does it take on curl and bounce. Anything, shorter than
shoulder length and it's stick straight- go figure.

As we age,
it seems that society thinks if a woman is graying then she should have
short hair, ala Jamie Lee Curtis. If she wants to keep her long tresses,
then she should submit to dying it and probably to having it
professionally dyed. I tried to hide my grays with highlighting, but the
amount both monetarily and time-wise involved was just too much. Living
in a new place with water that leaves me feeling less than
squeaky-clean post shower I toy with chopping my hair, but having had it
cut very short when I donated to locks for love not that long ago, I
know I will not be happy with the results.

Sorry for the long post- again I think you look incredible, love the touch of green eyeshadow, makes your eyes pop.

Cheers,

Beth

Anne said...

AAAAAAAAWESOME!!! Love the surprise ending :)

Carrie said...

The "sexy ladder" ... UGH. Unfortunately, some people like to perpetuate the idea that
women are in constant competition with each other, based solely on physical attractiveness. Because that's the only thing women are good for, right? This is all distraction - perhaps they're afraid of what women could really accomplish if we united and cast off these restricting ideas about our physical appearance.

One issue your wonderful, thought-provoking post did not touch on was women who suffer hair loss. A number of years ago I lost probably about a third of my hair due to extreme stress. I didn't realize how much hair matters until that happened. I've heard women make catty comments about women dealing with hair loss, and that upsets me because I remember how self-conscious and well, ugly, I felt. I knew intellectually that I wasn't ugly, but I felt that way. It was hard to look in the mirror every day and see my scalp and to see all that precious hair on the floor. Whenever I met
people, I wondered whether they noticed and what they thought about my hair (or lack thereof). Thankfully, I've re-grown the majority of my hair, although there are still a few areas I'm self-conscious about.

I always think women with short hair are effortlessly chic, fearless, confident, and comfortable in their own skin. I would say that all of those adjectives apply to you with your new haircut! I think it really accentuates your great skin and beautiful features. :)

Jenny Lauren said...

WOW, you look STUNNING Katie! Good for you for taking the risk! I can't wait to see more pics!!

What an awesome post. I can't believe that crazy guy and his website! He is the definition of "vain". I would divorce him on the spot if I was his wife and read that he was "less into me" because I cut my hair. Disgusting.

It's funny, I can honestly say that I don't judge other woman based on their hair length, but my own hair length is a major issue for me personally. I never equate long hair with sexiness on other woman. I think it totally depends on what suits their face. I think Michelle Williams and Miley Cyrus are two perfect examples of stunning woman with short hair. However, when it comes to myself, my hair is definitely my security blanket. I've always had long hair, but had to cut it to shoulder length at the beginning of this year when it became severely damaged after a hair treatment. I feel like I can hide behind my hair, and it takes some of the focus off of the imperfections in my face and skin. I really couldn't imaging going any shorter than I am now because I would be way too self concious. Obviously, this is totally in my head, and it's something that I really need to work on. I'm so proud of you for taking a risk and being your own strong, independent and sexy woman!!

xo Jenny

www.crazystylelove.com

Jupe_Cambria said...

WOW those comments and that way of thinking just make me sick!!! The superficiality and selfishness that come into play with physical appearance are so terrible...I think it's important that people feel confident and beautiful with whatever hairstyle/colour they like! And that they feel free to be NATURAL and not pressured to spend hours and dollars keeping up with the very latest. I like when people's style reflects their inside...because that's what's most valuable about them :) And on that note...I LOVE your new hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<3 Cambria

jupefashion.blogspot.com

Ashley Vazquez said...

gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!

Rebecca said...

When I chopped mine off (shorter than yours) a few years ago I got the exact kind of reactions you mention. And it was HARD. I always remind myself that if I hate it it will grow back, but others don't always see it that way.


I love your hair and wish none of what you said up there was true. Unfortunately, that wish isn't coming true anytime soon.

Melissa said...

Super cute, Katie! And sassy.


I go back and forth with my hair. I wore it long (an inch or so above my waist) until after college, mainly because that's how Mom wanted it when I was little and I wasn't sure how it would react if it was short (mine is very fine but naturally curly). After a couple of years of major stress manifested itself in some pretty unhealthy hair, I chopped it to just above my shoulders. With the curl, it was up to my chin. I. Loved. It. I felt so liberated and confident, which apparently is sexy because I got more male attention then than ever before. That was about 10 years ago, and it's longer now, about shoulder length when dry, and I'm torn between growing it long so I can do all those cool braids or going short and sassy again.

grownandcurvywoman said...

Love it! Yes hair is definitely a polarizing issue. When I made the decision to cut off my hair & go natural my sister insisted that I was a lesiban, my ex asked me what was wrong and my mom was on the brink of tears. Eventually everyone calmed down but it did bother me that it appeared my attractiveness was based on my hair length.

Melissa said...

Oh, I just had a thought: all those cute, sparkly headbands that are in right now are going to look amazeballs with that cut!

Lynne DeVenny said...

Katie, I love it! And you are a very pretty woman, not at all defined by a single terrific attribute, i.e. your hair.

Tashia @HipsandHangers said...

LOVE this post. It's amazing how much feeling and worth we put in our hair. My grandmother made my mom cut her hair super short once when she was little and my mom was so traumatized that she didn't let me cut mine above mid back until I was 12! You look amazing, and I hope you feel it too :)

Sarah Welsch said...

Your hair is adorable! I love it! I myself have been growing out my hair for two, yes two, years just so I could curl it! I so badly want to cut my hair, but I am not in a place where I waited this long to grow it out, why cut it now. Your post makes me want to cut it even more!

http://owleyevintage.blogspot.com/

http://www.etsy.com/shop/OwlEyeVintage

Tori said...

Oh My gosh, I need more pictures!! I am in love with your new cut! I totally relate to the social norms of long hair. What makes matters worse is my entire life my own father hated every time I cut my hair and would verbalize how much he preferred it long (and Blonde)! I am not strong or brave enough to chop all my hair off but I envy girls who are. I really want a friend with a Mohawk.. is that weird? :D I love your hair short because it really does extenuate your bone structure and i think it even makes your round face look longer. I really love it and I can't wait to see more!

http://www.mythriftychic.com/

Katha Strophe said...

This guy's ideas are just so wrong... I can't believe anyone thinks in this categories at all! Rating women by numbers and the "sexy ladder"... bullshit!

I really can't say that I measure women's attractiveness by the length of their hair. For me, I like having hair at a length that I can just put in a ponytail when I don't feel like styling it - but some day I'm sure I will try out a shorter do.
I like the new haircut on you, can't wait to see more pictures! How do you feel about it?

NaNa said...

You look amazing with short hair! I was actually a little bit shocked with some of the things I read here, especially the part about the man saying he is less into his wife because she was no longer blonde!!! I can't believe hair colour or length would affect someone's feelings and thoughts about someone else. I actually think short hair looks really good, and women who go around with cute short cuts look so confident and chic. And how does Emma Watson look like a lesbian just because she cut her hair?! She looks ridiculously amazing and looks better than ever before. This post was pretty insightful, thanks for sharing it =)
Anna @ FEED ME NANA xoxo
feedmenana.blogspot.com

Becky said...

I think you look amazing and FIERCE!



As someone with long hair (who is both afraid to cut it off, and keeps it because I work at a Shakespeare theatre and a renaissance festival...), I know a lot of reason that I DO keep it besides the job stuff is much of what you've mentioned above. "People won't think I'm pretty if I have short hair." My long curls have become somewhat of a trademark for me. So I understand.


But your new 'do is SO CUTE!

Lisa Walter said...

Oh my gosh.....I love your haircut. It is so cute and it looks great on you.

Lisa Walter said...

.....and by the way; I can't believe that writer would actually own his misogynistic statements. Glad I'm not his wife...and I suspect in a few years his wife will be wishing she wasn't.

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you, Sarah. I know exactly how you feel. I had been growing mine out for FIVE years. Growing out is definitely the worst part of wanting long hair. Naturally, I am going to tell you to CUT IT! I'm that naughty little short haired devil on your shoulder :)

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

You predicted correctly. Like I said, it's very polarizing! I think you are right about facial features, but I also think many women would look good with short hair, but use that as an excuse because they are scared, you know? Not that I am trying to create a cult of short hair ;0

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

It's tough to say really. I love it, but I still miss the long hair. I definitely think it's something that everyone has to adjust to. I will probably feel that that a lot in the coming days! I know exactly what you mean about the short hair over 40. I can only think of two teachers at my school who are over forty and have long hair. It's definitely one of those unspoken rules!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Right? What a total ass. He made my blood boil big time!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you so much!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you, Becky, so much. I don't think there are many women who would admit that. It's tough. It was every single reason I didn't want to cut it and it was also every single reason I felt like I needed to cut it! Does that make sense?

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you so much for commenting! I couldn't believe all the crazy stuff I read when "researching". I mean we all know that the world is full of crazies, but really? It's hair. Come on!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Total bullshit indeed. Clearly I was upset because I cussed in a post (I never do that! I try to keep it clean!). I think most confident women, like yourself, don't judge women on anything. When you have confidence in yourself, you can see beauty in everyone. I know my "mean girl" students will be the worst to deal with because they are so insecure. But I am also wise enough to know it's not really me that they will be lashing out at, you know?


I am Loving it!!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

More pictures are coming, I promise. My grandmother hates me with short hair, and will tell me about it every time I see her (and she wonders why I NEVER want to see her....). I want a friend with a Mohawk too, so I totally don't think that's weird. I'm ready to figure out how to rock the faux hawk!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

I thought you might like this one. I always love your insight on feminism related issues. I feel pretty good about it, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was nervous as hell about going to school Monday and facing mean teenagers!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you so much, Lynne!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Right?! I need to buy some ASAP!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

I didn't even touch on black women and hair. I didn't feel like it was my place, but it is FASCINATING. I have only one student who wears her hair naturally and she is so beautiful and spunky. She was actually one of the main reasons I felt okay cutting it, "Man, Jasmine, rocks her short hair (or Mohawk or combed out... surely they are called something besides Afro???). I think within the black community it's probably even more polarizing. That being said, I have my entire life said that if I had been born black I would have rocked natural hair like nobody's business!!!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Well, I'm going to encourage short and sassy, but I'm a little biased right now! ;) The thing I hear most with short hair is confident and liberating, so you are not alone. There's just something about having that hair shorter. It's like it forces you to fake confidence until you have it, you know?

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

It sucks. And it's really tough when people start talking about liking it. You doubt everything. Do they really like it or are they just being nice?

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you Ashley!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

So well said. I agree with you. It's just hair. Why do we care so much? Thank you, Cambria!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you, Jenny! More pics on Monday I promise!. I definitely think I would have to divorce him too. My sweet husband said he liked it more because he can see my face and reach my ears and neck easier.

I feel exactly the way you do- I see beautiful women with all kinds of haircuts. I have spent years hiding behind my hair for the exact same reasons.

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

I love every bit of your comment! I wish I had written it myself!! I didn't talk about hair loss, you are right. It's not something I know a lot about. Have you every read Little Miss Momma's blog? She battles with trichotillomania and blogs about it often. Hair loss for women can absolutely be devastating and lead to major esteem issues.

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thanks :D

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

I hate the whole idea of age-appropriate for the most part. I mean Jamie Lee looks great and amazing with her short gray pixie. But Emmylou Harris is stunning with her long gray and white hair.


My biggest fear with this cut is being lumped in with the "matronly" teachers in my school when I am trying to have this short, spunky edgy cut!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you, Barbara!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

You totally should start your own blog. The world needs more positive and accepting plus size bloggers. Thank you so much for being so kind. It is a humbling feeling to hear that I inspire someone.


And I totally don't think you are a weirdo about saying we could be friends in real life! I bet we could too!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

I understand exactly how you feel. I feel the same way. My hair was such a focal point. Like I mentioned, I feel like it could cover up a "multitude of sins". Definitely a security blanket for me, something to hide behind. And I also think my long hair was rooted in the same attempt to have something enviable, since it's clearly not my body (sarcasm). You got the point of this blog perfectly. I am not telling women to cut all their hair off but I am questioning why they have long hair. Is it really because they love and prefer it? Or is it because they are scared of what other people will think if they don't have long hair? It's a tough thing to admit to!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

It has been really nice to not have hair all over the shower when I finish washing my hair!


I think you got the point of this blog exactly. I was nervous about cutting mine for the exact same reason. This is the biggest I've ever been. What if women and men no longer "find me pretty" because I've cut off the one pretty thing I had. It's really effin' scary, so thank you so much for the love and support!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you so much, Courtney!

Lisa K. said...

OMG! Your cut is adorable!! You are so brave! I loved Miley's and Emma's haircuts too, they are both too cute! I agree with your comments about our unnatural obsession with long hair. Your post is so honest and thoughtful! Thanks for sharing such a personal thing!!!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Oh, I absolutely agree! You can't help it I think ;)

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you so much Kelly!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

I worry non-stop about real compliments versus being nice!!! Honestly I don't think that many people are that "nice"! I agree that it all goes back to confidence- if you feel good, you look good! It's pretty simmple! Thanks for the support- I'm gonna need it Monday when I face my teenaged students!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you so much, Brynn, for commenting! I am getting used to it, but super nervous about going to school and facing my teenage students on Monday!!


I agree that short hair showcases features and beauty more. I look back at pictures from before I had bangs and no hair on my face just long hair, and I hated the way I looked, I felt like I needed bangs to cover up some of my face. But the other night I had all of my hair pushed off my face and I felt like it was the most beautiful picture I had ever taken. It wasn't the bangs (or lack of bangs) that made me feel ugly, it was all that long hair!!


I think short hair can be so beautiful and I bet you look great now and will look great with a pixie! It definitely makes you feel pretty and confident!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Do not let your face hold you back from getting a haircut you would love! Seriously. Round faces are so cute with short hair! I am always so relieved I don't have to raise a daughter, so incredibly hard, so much pressure.

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Yeah, but clearly any woman that says she likes my hair is really lying because they want to move on up that ladder! Trust no one ;)


I borrowed your "re-boot" phrase for Monday's blog! My hair has been growing out for five years. Five years of dead hair.- Heavy, bleached, fried, split- this is just starting over. My husband also says he loves it, and I have no reason to doubt him! Good men!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you so so much! I really feel like this hair matches my personality now!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

My hair is the same, Kathy. It is crazy thick! Thank you so much!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

I've already told my husband I might shave it this summer! I am with you on the upkeep of thick hair. In the past when people have questioned me about cutting me hair, I always tell them, "Yeah, but you don't have to fix it every day!"

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you so much, Kim!!! Your hair history sounds a lot like mine!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Ah, thank you so much, Jess!


Oh, that's a terribly traumatic story about your hair. That's awful :( I'm glad you let your daughter cut her hair, that's a great mom, truly! And I love that the little sisters followed suit! That is AWESOME!

thirties girl said...

I think it's important for people to play with their hair: cut it different lengths, play with color, texture, etc. How else will we know what kind of hair styles, colors, textures we like on us? I also think it's a valid response to an emotional reaction; I've often cut or colored my hair when I'm going through emotional trauma or good times. Sometimes I just need to "get out of my head," so to speak, and expressing my emotions by doing something different and new with my hair is a good way to do it. Same for expressing my happiness or feeling upbeat when those feelings occur. As I always remind myself: it's only hair and hair grows. In a couple of months, I can change it to look different again if I want. And to borrow a line from now defunct UK indie band Fuzzbox and their song "Preconceptions": "It's your preconceptions that have gone astray. Don't look at how I look; listen to what I say! It's not my hair color, it's my HAIR that's the choice! Pay less attention to the packaging and listen to the voice."

Shurree said...

Thank you for the endorsement. I spent some time yesterday putting something in the works. I'll let you know how it goes! ;)

Melanie Radolec said...

I recently just cut my hair all off (about a month ago)...about 12 inches...I now have about 2 inches on my left side and 8 on my left (it's asymetrical), and "gay" is the first thing people started teasing me about! I LOVE it, it's SO easy to do, and if having short hair makes me "gay"...I'm loving being gay! :) I do NOT miss my hair one bit, and it's liberating being "different" and I love being called "brave"! I'll take it! Not only am I brave, but apparently an inspiration, because at least 3 of my friends/co-workers are now considering getting their hair cut! So, GOOD FOR YOU for being different! I love your hair! :)

Elaine said...

I really needed to read this today...I just (3 days ago) cut my hair in a very similar style to yours and I was starting to freak out that it was a bad idea. My hair was only collar length to begin with, but it's still a huge change to have it so short. I realize that, like you said, some men won't find it attractive, but hell, if they like long hair so much, maybe they should grow their own hair out! LOL! I didn't do this for anyone but me, and I love it! You look wonderful, and I can't wait to see more pictures! :o)

Jess said...

I have long hair because I look very, very unattractive with short hair. I don't wear my hair long to attract a mate (and if I do something is very wrong because I am as single as it gets), and I don't wear it this colour because it looks better or worse than if I were blonde. I've been stopped by women on the street asking me where I got my extensions (haha oh my) and I wish I could understand what it is that they see about my hair that's so incredible, because to me, it's just whatever. But I've lived with it my entire life, and I will tell anyone honestly and without shame that it's probably my best physical trait. I don't want to lose it if I don't have to, because in my eyes, my attractiveness is really based on the fact that I have good hair.

I considered shaving my hair off for St. Baldrick's a couple years back, but I realised that doing so would likely unearth a lot of physical scars on my scalp that I'm not yet willing to face. So I keep my hair long to hide that, in a way. I'm sure that having hair your length would be okay, but again...not a good look on me!

I worry about what will happen when I get older. I started to go gray when I was 21; I'm 26 now and have a healthy patch of gray beginning to spread through my part and into my temples. I think long gray hair is beautiful, but I also know that society doesn't accept long gray hair nearly as willingly as short gray hair. I'm fortunate to work in a place with (at least) three women with beautiful, long--chin length, shoulder length, mid-back length--gray hair. I only hope I'm so lucky.

But you, my dear? Your hair looks wonderful. Healthy, happy and very well cut!

Keesha said...

Katie!!!!!!! Im LOVING THIS!!!! Your beautiful face is shining with the short 'do :)

Kathleen said...

I love it! I think it looks great. :)


But I've never paid that much attention to the short hair/long hair issue. I think some people look wonderful with either style, and there are some people who don't, but it's always wonderful when people step outside their comfort zone and try new things.

Anna Sauber-Buchholz said...

I'd better get Home Depot...sexy ladders are on sale this weekend!

Camille Russ said...

It looks gorgeous! I cut my hair into a pixie last July and it totally changed my life. Number one-it is so easy to style. I get out of the shower, run my hands through it and it's done. I get out of bed, shake my head, and it's done. It is incredibly empowering to not feel the need to "do" your hair. You know who have given me the most compliments? My high school students. And you know, they do not ever pay a compliment out of niceness-they are honest to a fault. I think it sets a really good example when women around girls developing their sense of self are confident enough to say, "there are many ways to be beautiful."



www.blackboardstyle.com

Christy said...

I love short hair. I have straight, turning gray hair that HATES to be longer than my shoulders, and on top of that, the only part of my hair that is curly is the part at the base of my hairline/neck, where it is not just curly, but frizzy. I can never wear my hair up when it is long because no matter how much hairspray or bobby pins I use, that part sticks straight out in a big ball. SO OBNOXIOUS. But a short angled bob is perfect for me, and I have purple streaks dyed into it just for shits and giggles, because I am 33 and can do whatever I damn well please (and I'm a teacher in Seattle, where NOT having a piercing or weird colored hair would be weird...). I constantly get compliments on my hair, more than any other part of me, and it is the part of my looks that I am the most happy with. I say that if short hair makes YOU happy, then that will come out and you will be even prettier (because you're totally gorgeous, btw).

ashleigh said...

You are so welcome! I can't wait for more pics so I can live vicariously through your short 'do!

Belated Bloomer said...

I think pixie cuts are sexy! And I think ladies that rock these hairstyles have the CONFIDENCE to show off their face and not hide behind the hair (which I sometimes do). You look so pretty, Katie!

Abi

http://thebelatedbloomer.blogspot.com

twitter: @BelatedBloomer

Crystal said...

I absolutely LOVE short hair and I LOVE this cut on you!!! I'm so serious! I love it!!! I honestly think any woman would look good with a nice short cut. I would rather wear a short cut on myself than any other hairstyle. Short hair to me is so freeing...most of the time, I don't have to do much to it. :) It's the growing out stage that is the pits, (if you decide that you want to grow it out). Your hairstylist did a fabulous job! As for the moron who identifies his wife by her hair - he's a clown! Bless her heart for having to deal with him!

Kate Newton said...

This is so true. I'm turning 40 soon, and the only thing anyone ever says about my hair is that I have to cut it at 40 or risk turning into an "old hag." Nope.

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

Thank you so much Crystal! I needed to hear that after my students' reactions! I am looking at your avatar picture and I like yours too :) I just think short cuts are so cute!!


My hairstylist is also my BFF, so I will have to tell her what you said!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

I was DEFINITELY hiding under my long hair too, so I understand what you mean! Thank you so much, Abi!

Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie said...

God, I need to move and teach in Seattle! I had purple in my hair over the summer that I had to dye before school started back. And don't even get me started about the time I got my nose pierced OVER the summer and you would have thought I had gotten arrested or something. I agree so much- confidence is the most important part of a short hair cut. Well, confidence and pomade ;)

julia w said...

first: love your hair style!

second: wonderful post! really well written!

i have super-thin hair and i am always jealous when i see somebody with long healthy hair that i'll never have. i can't deny it... but right now i can't wait for a nice cut, a shorter one... i guess i have found the right length for me.
wanting curls while having straight hair (and vice versa) is something strange but i don't know any woman who hasn't been there yet. what this guy says that you are talking about is just weird... i am happy that i am not around people like that... my father e.g. has always loved my mother's cuts especially when they were short!
what i personally like is seeing somebody who wears their hair in a natural way - no matter how short or long... and some of those pixie cuts are superhot imho. t just depends on the kind of hair/face/... you have...

Miranda said...

Just saw this post and your most recent post, and I have to tell you (honestly) that I LOVE your haircut and I think it's so chic and sophisticated! It reminds me so much of Audrey Hepburn's short cut (and hers was back in the 60's so a big sarcastic "thumbs up" for these idiots who still have backwards ideas about femininity!). You look STUNNING!

Marissa said...

I am SOOOOOOOO behind in blog reading but I just want you to know that I truthfully love your new cut bliend! I think it really suits you! xoxo

jugglingchic said...

Your hair looks soooo cute!!!!! I love it!!!!!! I love a little pixie cut!

Rachel Pierce said...

I feel somewhat similarly in that I have long hair and don't understand what all the hype is about. Like you, people are always commenting, but while I appreciate the compliments I don't consider it a big deal.


Where we differ is reasons for going long. I think my hair looks fine short, I prefer not to spend too much time or money on a salon cut. Too much of a hassle for me.


Let is grow gray! I love long gray hair and think it's gorgeous! In fact that is another reason I keep my hair long is to become an awesome long-gray-haired lady. I only hope it turns. My mom has beautiful curly gray hair, but my dad's mom (who I get my color from) had bright red hair until the day she died.

Trillium said...

Fantastic post. I've had super short hair for many many years. For the most part I've always been very confident about it; but there is the occasional twinge of "is this too unfeminine?" I mostly love it though, and so does my husband. I can't tell you how many compliments I get from other women, and a great many of them say, "I wish I was brave enough". I say, do it! Who cares about all this other crap. I'm living proof that a woman can have short hair and still be feminine, and confident, and attractive, and lovable. And you look great! Thanks for the great post!

Maya Resnikoff said...

Funny- I used to feel that, in my twenties, having long hair (as in, waist-length) was a sign of being really un-cool, un-fashionable, old-fashioned and stodgy. Then I got married and started covering my hair- hello, "religious fanatic". But you know what? Now what I do with my hair is just for my and my husband. I've never wanted to curl my hair (it's quite straight), but I know I'm unusual there.

Electronic_Neko said...

Katie, I just stumbled across your blog today (via Alexa Webb on Pinterest!) and wanted to drop a note to say I love your hair cut! I like the way you have it parted in this post and the way you spike it up in some of the more recent posts.

I've worn my hair at various lengths from roughly jaw length to just an inch or so above my shoulders over the past couple years. About 5 weeks ago I got a pixie cut. I was not expecting it to be such a shocking experience! I felt kind of shell shocked for about a week - even though I have worn my hair pixie length before. I cut it because I felt like it was in my face all the time. I felt like I was hiding. (That's why I cut it short last time, too.) Also, on a more practical level, I have extremely thick hair and it gets HOT when it's longer!

It feels risky. I feel exposed. My face is just out there all the time, you know? Reactions from my family and co-workers has been uniformly positive, but I notice most women say something along the lines of "it looks good on YOU, but I could never do that." I think that's why - long hair feels "safer" to many women. It's also more conventional. It's a little strange, when I think of it now - many women default to ponytails, which expose your face just as much. If you're comfortable rocking a ponytail, it's not THAT big a difference from the level of exposure you'd have with short hair.

I personally could never, ever stand to wear my hair longer than shoulder length. It's simply too hot and too heavy. But even so, I still struggle with feeling less feminine with the shorter cut.

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