Friday, May 31, 2013

When Your Heart Hurts


I spend a lot of time trying to encourage other women to be confident and believe in themselves, but, if I can be perfectly honest, the past few days have really shaken my confidence. I've struggled with Sean. I've lost a couple of jewelry shows. I've been picked on (twice!) on the internets. I've just kinda wanted to throw in the towel all week. 

How do you encourage others' confidence when yours is fading fast? Sometimes my knee-jerk reaction is to get angry and defensive. Oh, hell, who am I kidding? That's always my initial reaction. But as I get older, I realize how useless that is. Getting angry and using up all of your energy in negative, unhelpful ways is such a waste of time.

Instead, I've focused on building others up. When we are unsure of ourselves, it is so easy and tempting to tear others down. To make them feel bad. To put them on the same unhappy level that we are dwelling on. But to take the time to spread love and tell others how awesome they are? Well, in turn, it just makes you feel better.

Anyway, this wasn't a pity party post, I promise. I was just trying to process some things, so I can move own. The dress below is like three years old- I got in from Old Navy and it is entirely too short now to wear anywhere during the school year. Why is it so hard to find plain, simple dresses like this? Old Navy has some, and I've bought a few, but they are nearly see through and shoddily made. Last year I bought a few at Wal-Mart, but they aren't carrying anything similar. It's become a real frustration.


I've long loved bronze and gold jewelry (I think one of my very first posts talked about  my obsession). These pieces from Premier just make me happy. I feel like some Earth Mama hippie in them. It also shows how easily jewelry can dress up a cheap cotton dress!

Anyway, I love you all, and I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Beaded Necklace- Wild at Heart
Bronze Necklace- Shake It Up
Bronze Pendant- Baroque
Bronze Earrings- Old World
All Premier



55 comments:

Katie Frost said...

I've noticed that a lot of clothing recently is extremely thin, see through, and poorly made. And I'm not able to buy from higher end places in order to have a higher quality wardrobe. Just want to remind you that you're awesome!

Katie Frost said...

I'm sorry to hear you've been having a tough week...I look your positive attitude about it though! That dress is so cute for the summer. Seems like whenever I'm looking for a specific clothing item, I can never find it!

-Sharon
The Tiny Heart

Bracelet Giveaway!

Katie Frost said...

Love you short dress and its been that kind of week girl, I am so glad its Friday. I agree on the quality of dresses, the one I have that I love most from Old Navy is very sheet and thin

Katie Frost said...

The internet is like the playground in elementary school. Kids always picking on and pushing around others...also, my first instinct is to find out who's picking on you and then go beat them up. I guess I am just as childish...haha. (and that would solve nothing AND set a bad example). So, keep your head up and always know that you are fabulous. And on to fashion...Old Navy quality is soooo hit or miss. Some of their items are made out of what I can only describe as tissue paper.

Katie Frost said...

Sorry you're having a rough week - it's been harsh around here too. I just wanted to say, I love your style. Love this dress (I had a similar few when I was pregnant with my kiddo) And I don't know what it is about dresses lately - I saw a young lady this morning in a dress so poorly made, I could see her thong from half a block away

Katie Frost said...

Hugs! I've never commented before, but wanted to let you know that I see you as a source of inspiration, both in the outfits that you put together and the confidence you show. I hope your weekend is a great one!

Katie Frost said...

I hope your days and weeks get better. Sometimes I have to step away from the internet...people are just so mean spirited and cruel. SMH Hopefully karma pays them a visit someday. I hope you can get back to your happy place...ignore the ignorant - that's all you can really do. I see a lot people wearing really cute things from Old Navy...I'm not that lucky, Old Navy clothing just doesn't fit me well. I've stocking up on things from Eloquii though...they have been having some crazy close out sales. Have a great weekend!

Katie Frost said...

I'm sorry you're having a rough one. I saw you mentioned on GOMI but it was actually about how TO rock your figure and people after were asking what blog you were from because they thought you were fabulous. Know for every person online who says something stupid or mean there's 20 who are silent and think you are the utterly most fabulous bomb diggity. Cuz you are.

And I totally have that dress in a brown, ivory, and orange print. It's my "Bonnaroo" dress because it's too short to wear anywhere else but damn if I don't adore it for Bonnaroo. Cotton, doesn't show dirt, and pockets. Get out of my head Katie! :)

Katie Frost said...

I am sorry to hear your having a rough week, I believe us ladies all have them, we cant be pleased all the time ;) People pick on others when they are jealous is what I have to remind myself, whether they are jealous of your looks, your clothes, even down to your happiness, dont let them win, keep your head high and keep on moving...Pick the battles that actually matter in life, I have learned that as I have gotten older. As for dresses, have you checked Target, Khols, or even JCPenny? I know they have some cute stuff online...Old Navy I love but your right, most of it is too short, see through, or just not figure flattering, I found a dress online that I loved and wanted for our anniversary at the end of June but once it arrived it looked awful on me...so I returned it for shorts instead...you have to be careful as I am sure you know or we end up looking like we are wearing a box! Have a happy weekend...Many Blessings, Kristen

Katie Frost said...

Yup, just have to say that this week you have a new follower because someone shared your photo on GOMI (as a Stay on My Internet) and I loved the outfit so I knew I had to start following you!

Katie Frost said...

A lot of things on Old Navy can be had with better quality at their sister store -- Gap. Gap goes up to XXL online and with a sale, has reasonable prices. I live in the t-shirt dresses on summer weekends and the Gap's are made of thicker material and just hang nicer.

Katie Frost said...

Sorry to hear about your tough week! : \ I'm glad you're approaching it in the right way. A lot of people pick on others to avoid dealing with their own insecurities and issues - they're not really seeing you, they're seeing their own struggles. if they truly saw you, they'd understand you're amazing! :)
I hear you on the simple dress problem. I've been hunting for a few easy cotton dresses for summer, and they're just about impossible to find! I usually love Old Navy and almost bought a t-shirt style maxi dress, but the black fabric was so skimpy that it showed every bulge. Glad I passed on that - it's not an easy summer dress if I feel I have to suck in my stomach while I'm wearing it. :)

Katie Frost said...

I'm having a similar defeated-type of day and I'm just counting down the hours until it's over. There is so much awesomeness to waking up to a completely new day. New day = clean slate. :) In regards to your simple dress question - if you live near an outlet mall and there's a LOFT store - hit it up as they have SIMPLE DRESSES GALORE!!! It was ah-mazing and I picked up 4 for under $30 each.

Katie Frost said...

Aww, chin up girly!! You are awesome and such an inspiration to women of all sizes! We all love you too! Have a great weekend! =)

Katie Frost said...

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one! And thank you very much :)

Katie Frost said...

Yes! It's always when I have money to spend and I know what I want to buy... and then it's no where! Shopping gods laugh at me!

Katie Frost said...

You and me both! Have a great weekend and a better week!

Katie Frost said...

Well, it's definitely what I WANT to do! But I'm trying to be good!
I mean what up with ON and their dresses- there are dresses too see through to wear to the pool and they are marketed as dresses I could wear to work. I don't think so!

Katie Frost said...

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your crappy week to comment on my crappy week! I hope you have an awesome weekend :)


I'm scared to wear half the things I see in public!

Katie Frost said...

Thank you so much, Rebecca- for reading and commenting. I appreciate it more than ever today!

Katie Frost said...

I am devastated that Eloquii is going out of business but these sales are awesome! I'm buying stuff every day it seems like.


And I very much believe in karma ;)

Katie Frost said...

Thanks @cindiepal! And Allie- you are right. Who would have thought that a GOMI mention would be the high point of the week! ;) I almost had a heart attack when I scrolled down and saw that picture of me- seriously, my heart stopped. BUt then I read on, and I was all, "Hell yeah!" Couldn't have asked for a better outcome!

Katie Frost said...

This is true- I check Gap occasionally, but I need to get better at looking there!

Katie Frost said...

I agree with you about picking battles- being a mom and a teacher has made me WAY better about that!
I've not had much luck with Target, but I love Kohl's and JCP- they have REALLY upped their game!

Katie Frost said...

OK, good! I'm glad I'm not just imagining things! It's ridiculous with these dresses!


And thank you so much for your kind words and wisdom! A perfect reminder for me!

Katie Frost said...

I hope that your day is almost over, Jaime, and that you have an awesome weekend! Thanks for reaching out to me and cheering me up... And thanks for reminding me about Loft- checking that out right now!

Katie Frost said...

Thank you, Catie! I hope you have a great weekend too :)

Katie Frost said...

Sorry you're having a bad week. I just recently found your blog and find your writing to be a real source of happy inspiration. Love you!

Katie Frost said...

Dear Katie,
Ever since I found a pin of your's on pinterest 5-6 months ago I regularly read your blog. You are honest and straight forward in your writing and it has been amazing to see your wardrobe choices evolve. Sometimes you nail it and sometimes you miss the mark-but hey that's what life is all about-taking chances. Don't stress over the cancelled parties (there will be more), Sean is just getting adjusting to it being summer and having a different routine, and the negativism towards you....well....they can take a flying leap. Read the 28 comments below-there is proof that 29+ of us think the sun shines out of your a$$. Just remember that-you are loved and supported not only by the people physically around you, but in the cyber world too.

Katie Frost said...

So sorry to hear you're having a bad week! I hope Sean settles into a summer routine soon, and as for the other stuff... haters gonna hate.


I feel you on the simple dresses. Do you have H&M where you live? They've become my go-to for basic cotton dresses (and other dresses too). If nothing else fails, there's always Target!

Katie Frost said...

All the other girls beat me to the good responses! You are a great gal, Katie. You have a wonderful, sparkling personality; an honest, this-is-how-it-is approach, and a go-get'em attitude. I appreciate your honesty about your heart hurting. I've been thrown under the bus, degraded and picked on and it isn't fun. It hurts, and it is confusing because it is often unprovoked on your end. Like one of the other women posted: Haters gonna' hate. You just keep doin' your thing, girl. You are awesome, and we love you!

Katie Frost said...

Katie, first I will say that you look really lovely.
I agree with you about the difficulty of finding well make simple summer dresses. The simpler the better! Like you, I like to jazz them up with accessories.
As far as dealing with the negativity of others; I agree with you, just keep spreading the love and know where the negativity comes from. This is just a phase as you must know, and you are handling it well. Know that it will pass. Keep smiling and sharing your wonderful blog with us.

Katie Frost said...

You look beautiful! It can be frustrating transitioning to the new. Sean's not used to being home with you, your jewelry business is new and you're bound to be unsure. All that will be ok. The bullying on the internet is ridiculous and not acceptable. It amazes me that adults act this way.
You are a great Mom, you are funny, your bog is awesome, you are smart, you are beautiful. Cheer up and have a good day today.
-Ash
www.thestylizedwannabe.com

Katie Frost said...

I hope you're feeling better by the time you read this. You are a lovely, generous person.


That jewelry is totes amaze-balls :)


Peace & grace,
Lynne

Katie Frost said...

this was my thought:

Katie Frost said...

...I was the one who said that I was about to start shit because I love you until I realized they were saying you are an example of dressing for your figure. we got your back girl :)

Katie Frost said...

Ah, I didn't realize that was you (you changed your name and I didn't realize!)- it made me cry, so thank you :) seriously.

Katie Frost said...

Thank you so much Sarah!

Katie Frost said...

Thank you so much Trudy! You are awesome!

Katie Frost said...

There's an H&M about 3 hours away! Isn't that ridiculous?

Katie Frost said...

Thank you, Katie!

Katie Frost said...

Thank you, Lisa! I really appreciate it :)

Katie Frost said...

Thank you Lynne! And i am loving all this new Premier jewelry! It's like having a brand new wardrobe for real!

Katie Frost said...

Awww, I love you :)

Katie Frost said...

Just ignore those *itches. I am a regular reader, and a never-commenter. Just wanted to LYK it will be okay.

Katie Frost said...

The moon waxes and wanes... but is always a wonder to behold. Thank you for sharing with us.

Katie Frost said...

I love you Katie, and I hope that all the things that have been tearing you down will start to dissipate, and the love you feel from your readers and real-life fans will build you up again. XOXO

Katie Frost said...

I'm sorry you're down. But know that I love your blog. You inspired me to finally go for it, so I cut my hair quite short. And I love it! The haters are going to hate. I am no hater. Thank you for sharing a little bit of your world with the rest of us. It is a brave thing to do.

Katie Frost said...

I'm so sorry to hear you have had such a tough week. Its ok to feel down from time to time, but try to remember how many of us love you just the way you are. You are a true inspiration to so many of us. Keep your chin up, you are amazing!


www.thejoyoffashion.blogspot.com

Katie Frost said...

I had a ridiculous week like that last week. Most of it was involving people on the internets so I am happy I didn't have time to be online this weekend. It is really hard not to immediately get upset and I am working on that. The more I get picked on by these (essentially) anonymous folks, the more and more I realize that it isn't about me. It isn't about my fat or my happiness or my thoughts. It is about the way they feel about themselves. I just happen to be an easy target at the moment. So I have started to just tell them that it is unfortunate they feel that way and that I hope one day they can embrace and love themselves. And I try to leave it at that.

And as I am typing this to you, I think the reason I take it to heart so much is that I associate that behavior with my mom. She hates herself and uses (used) me as a punching bag. I guess where fight or flight is concerned with that, my mom is probably why I choose fight so much.

Hmm epiphany!

Katie Frost said...

I admire your ability to raise others up, even as you feel down. That's a great way to work through adversity, Katie.

Katie Frost said...

Target has cuter stuff online sometimes than they do in store. As a bonus, it's usually on sale more, too...it's especially great mid-summer when they start getting their fall stuff...we south-dwellers can wear those summer dresses till Halloween! Sorry internet people were being douchecanoes...all you can do is just ignore it and realize that deep down, they're envious of your confidence and your audience. :)

Katie Frost said...

Anyone who doesn't believe how accessories make an outfit must see this post! I love how the jewelry totally takes this dress to a whole new wow! Sending happy thoughts your way, lady! :)

Katie Frost said...

Ahhhh I was out of town the week this got posted and am just now catching up, but I wanted to chime in and say that I love you, I love what you're about, and I love the message you send. You inspire women all over the place to be more confident and self-assured. I know you don't need me to tell you this because you'll do it anyway, but I'm gonna say it stil: Keep sticking your neck out there, whether it's taking risks with your new business or preaching what you're about on the internet. People are going to misunderstand you sometimes, and I know it totally sucks, but we are here for you! And keep remembering all the women who you've inspired already along the way!

Katie Frost said...

You are such an inspiration to me especially because I'm a plus sized girl with short hair and seeing pictures of you looking so beautiful and confident makes me feel amazing and want to try some of the outfits you have arranged <3

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
 
Pin It button on image hover