Monday, January 27, 2014
I loved this photo, but purposely didn't include it in last week's post because I feel like it perfectly illustrates what I wanted to write about today. When Curtis said he wanted to take my photograph in front of this crevice, I wasn't entirely convinced. It was just ugly and plain to me. But through the eyes of the camera (and the photographer), it was a great shot. In reality Curtis was about 8 feet away from me. I'm not sure how he managed to make it look like I was in the mouth of some far off cave, but he did. It's all about perspective.
Perspective is one of those words I understand, but can't easily define (Irony is another. And I call myself an English teacher!). I'm not intending to give you a lesson on perspective in art or photography, though the basic ideas are the same. I'm working through personal perspective today. I found a definition that I thought neatly summed up what I was struggling with- "true understanding of the relative importance of things." My husband and I have been arguing about a dog lately. I really want one and he really does not. Neither one of us is backing down, so we've been butting heads pretty often; including me giving him the silent treatment for most of the day on our anniversary.
That's not something I am proud of, but it's the truth. I am stubborn as a mule, and when Curtis feels strongly about something, he is just as hard-headed. But as I get older, I recognize the importance of compromise, not just in marriage but it all areas of my life. Compromising doesn't mean you've lost the "fight"; it means you are willing to see another's perspective and point-of-view. Compromise is proof of maturity, not giving in.
I don't want you to tell me the pros and cons of bringing a dog into our household. I am realistic enough to understand how much work and time goes into taking care of a new dog, while being soft enough to be melted by the sweet eyes of the perfect pooch. I'm not sure where this will end, but I do know that no matter what we, this marriage, this family, are a team. This dumb tiff about a pet helped me gain a new perspective on my marriage, and as I tried to see things through Curtis's eyes, it also gave me a new perspective on my husband. He doesn't put his foot down to hurt me or make me mad, but he wants what he thinks is best for the whole family, not just what's fun or cute. I'm thankful to have such a grounded person in my life, to keep me on the ground when I'm at risk of floating away on my "apple pie in the sky" dreams.