Monday, January 27, 2014

Perspective


I loved this photo, but purposely didn't include it in last week's post because I feel like it perfectly illustrates what I wanted to write about today. When Curtis said he wanted to take my photograph in front of this crevice, I wasn't entirely convinced. It was just ugly and plain to me. But through the eyes of the camera (and the photographer), it was a great shot. In reality Curtis was about 8 feet away from me. I'm not sure how he managed to make it look like I was in the mouth of some far off cave, but he did. It's all about perspective.

Perspective is one of those words I understand, but can't easily define (Irony is another. And I call myself an English teacher!).  I'm not intending to give you a lesson on perspective in art or photography, though the basic ideas are the same. I'm working through personal perspective today. I found a definition that I thought neatly summed up what I was struggling with- "true understanding of the relative importance of things." My husband and I have been arguing about a dog lately. I really want one and he really does not. Neither one of us is backing down, so we've been butting heads pretty often; including me giving him the silent treatment for most of the day on our anniversary.

That's not something I am proud of, but it's the truth. I am stubborn as a mule, and when Curtis feels strongly about something, he is just as hard-headed. But as I get older, I recognize the importance of compromise, not just in marriage but it all areas of my life. Compromising doesn't mean you've lost the "fight"; it means you are willing to see another's perspective and point-of-view. Compromise is proof of maturity, not giving in.

I don't want you to tell me the pros and cons of bringing a dog into our household. I am realistic enough to understand how much work and time goes into taking care of a new dog, while being soft enough to be melted by the sweet eyes of the perfect pooch. I'm not sure where this will end, but I do know that no matter what we, this marriage, this family, are a team. This dumb tiff about a pet helped me gain a new perspective on my marriage, and as I tried to see things through Curtis's eyes, it also gave me a new perspective on my husband. He doesn't put his foot down to hurt me or make me mad, but he wants what he thinks is best for the whole family, not just what's fun or cute. I'm thankful to have such a grounded person in my life, to keep me on the ground when I'm at risk of floating away on my "apple pie in the sky" dreams.

6 comments:

Katie Frost said...

I loved reading this, Katie. It sounds kind of familiar :) Kevin is a very big thinker/dreamer. He has huge ideas and passions, and when he gets his mind set on something, it is hard for him to let it go. I, on the other hand, am much more realistic, cautious, and skeptical. Both of us are suuuper stubborn and think we're right all the time. This has led to some pretty huge arguments between us, but I love that we can compromise as well. Kevin helps me to be more adventurous and to take more risks, and I help to ground him when his big ideas need to be reeled in a little bit. In the end, things always work out :) I am crossing my fingers for you, though - having dogs is the best, and I firmly believe that every child should grow up with a dog if they can :) Good luck, my friend!

Katie Frost said...

A good partnership is the very best thing. I'm happy to have that too. I always think its so funny how we never had a single fight (or even an argument, really) until we had our daughter. Parenting has been the thing that has challenged our partnership the most, but I'm happy to say it's stayed strong throughout.

Katie Frost said...

oh the "C" word - compromise! We are going through pre-marital counseling right now, and man is that a big one… we are both VERY stubborn too, although I might out-stubborn him by a hair. Good luck finding the right balance :)

xx
Here&Now

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Katie Frost said...

Compromise is one of those adult behaviors I am still learning. I can be pretty stubborn too, just ask my husband!

Katie Frost said...

i am an in-the-moment person, too, and chris is more logical. we argue a lot (including a heated one about getting another dog) (we didn't) (he won) but i am the queen of compromise now, even if it is difficult sometimes!

Katie Frost said...

My Husband sprung a rescue pup on me (and my poor Princess Zoey.) I was happy at first, but then I discovered that I was doing EVERYTHING for the dog. And I couldn't just NOT do for the dog, or she wouldn't eat, or she'd mess in the house, because no one else was doing it! I grew very resentful towards him and the poor puppy. It's not Rain's fault he brought her into our home and doesn't properly take care of her. She's supposed to be a member of our family, and that means we all need to take care of her.
I am glad you have a Husband who is willing to explain his reasoning to you, even though you are in conflict. Roger didn't even consult me first. Even though you two are at odds, at least you are communicating and 6 months later aren't hating each other over a puppy.
This makes me sound like I hate my Husband lol. i don't, but I wish he's have told me he even wanted a dog haha. Two cats, two kids and two working adults don't leave a lot of time for puppies. I'm making the best of it though, especially since Rain is VERY sweet (though she eats my shoes.)
Good luck Katie! I hope it all works out!
-Ash
www.thestylizedwannabe.com

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